If you’re a woman looking for a relationship that’s going to last, apply these tips to stand you in good stead:
People are all different, and will have different opinions on what is and is not important in a relationship. If something is important to you, but it seems not to be so for the other person, don’t just get angry because they do not see your viewpoint or do not notice the simple gestures that you do that show love on your part, but are not perceived in the same way by your partner.
Communication is so important in a relationship. Just have a conversation about it without making it a big thing and tell them your feelings about it. Only by adult communication can you ensure your relationship is going to last.
Listening is an important aspect of communication! Many people have a hard time actually listening to other people and indeed, their partner’s needs. They hear the words, of course, but they’re just waiting for a good spot to put their words into the air without getting the communication that the other person is trying to put across. This is frighteningly common.
Instead of thinking about what you want to say, try listening to what your partner is saying. Adult relationships will have arguments, but they also have two adults who are honestly trying to solve problems rather than two children who think they’re not being shown respect.
Appreciate the little gestures. Modern movies and storytelling have made it seem as though the big gestures are the most important. They’re not. What’s important is that you enjoy spending moments with your partner, that you have a good time simply doing daily things. Otherwise, you have nothing to do together!
No one is a mind reader. It’s easy to get caught up on all the reasons why your partner “should” have known something or done something. The fact is, though, they didn’t, and they’re only human. Instead of getting angry about it, again, just ask them about it and you may find a good reason why they did not do it.
Don’t go into a relationship thinking you’ll change your partner into your idealistic version of Prince Charming. It’s true that people can evolve over time. And it’s also true that people often change in response to their partner. But if you depend on that to happen, then you’re already planning for a potentially relationship ending situation.
Plain and simple, don’t presume they’re going to change certain things and qualities about themselves. If you need something to change, tell them openly and honestly. If it is something that they are not willing to change, then you need to either accept them as they are or move on.
Leave the past in the past. If you’ve already discussed something with your partner and have reached a solution that is agreeable to you both, there’s no reason to bring it up again. If you feel like you have to bring it up, then the problem wasn’t resolved in, the first place and you’ll need to be honest about that.
Never cut off communication. This is sometimes worded as “never go to bed angry”, but that’s not quite the important part. Sometimes, you do need some time alone, in silence. But if that’s the case, don’t just stop talking and wait for them to figure out what they “should” know. Giving someone the silent treatment or storming off and refusing to speak about the issue will only cause resentment and make the situation worse.
If you need some space, then it is perfectly okay to tell them so, but let them know that you will both talk about the issue once you have cooled down.
Try to be the bigger person and let things go wherever possible. People are going to have difficulties in life and their relationship; that is inevitable. There’s nothing that can change that, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t deal with it in whatever way works for you. But you do need to work to resolve problems. Otherwise, you hold on to so many upsets that it’s just impossible to have a healthy conversation or relationship moving forward.
If things don’t work out, it’s not necessarily anyone’s “fault”. Relationships are partnerships, two people working together on a shared project. Sometimes, it turns out that those two people aren’t really suited to be working together.
Sometimes, two (or three, or however many people you have a romantic relationship with) people just don’t have a shared vision of what they’re working towards. Grieve as you need, but don’t take all the blame. If there was something about the situation you’d like to change, then work on improving it. But don’t presume that you’re simply a failure in relationships or that there is something wrong with you.
The fact is that most relationships do not make it. Firstly, you need to find the right person to have a relationship with, who will be compatible for you and gel well with your view of the world. Secondly, even when we do find the right person, we do still need to put in consistent effort to make sure that the relationship will endure long term and bring happiness to the both of you.
For more relationship tips, visit the American Dating Society www.asnamnat.org
So you’ve got your profile sorted, you’ve had a few pleasant interactions online with a few guys and even been on a couple of dates. There’s one guy that you particularly like and want to make sure he stays attracted to you. So how do you go about it?
Fortunately, there are several qualities, characteristics, and traits that most men universally look for in a woman. Knowing these will help you to play to those qualities and demonstrate them to the guy that you fit the bill.
Put Your Best Foot Forward
Showing your best qualities is always imperative. You want the guy to see the fun, happy you that enjoys life and is adventurous to try new things. Having self-confidence is a big part of this.
Build Your Self-Confidence
Developing self-esteem isn’t as hard as some people think. It’s all about changing your mind-frame to one which is positive and sees you and your achievements in an empowering light.
If this is an area you need to work on, then spend some time with a journal and write down all your accomplishments that you are proud of. When you do this, recall all of the positive emotions that are associated with that achievement, how good you felt, the praise you received from others, how your world-view seemed to change as a result of new possibilities opening up before you due to your achievement, and so forth. Make it as vivid and real as possible and own your achievement. It may take a little practice at first if you are not used to visualising in this way, but doing this will instantly make you feel great.
Once you have gone through and vividly recalled that achievement, go onto the next one. Spending 5-10minutes doing this every day for 30 days will change your outlook to one of positivity. Once you have this more positive outlook on life, you will walk, talk and conduct yourself in a more confident and empowered way, which other people will pick up on. This new energy that you will be projecting is a very attractive quality to have.
Before you go out, look in the mirror and recall your best qualities and attributes and remember your achievements. Allow the good feelings that are associated with these qualities to circulate and permeate your body. Always keep your positive attitude and enable it to be your guide.
If there are some aspects of yourself you don’t like or that you think people will not like, just think, ‘who gives a damn!’ NO ONE is perfect so own both your positive attributes and your flaws and be comfortable with both. It’s all about your attitude and your energy, and other people will start to find that attractive.
Here’s a great video for women to become more attractive to men – The Secret of Female Power
Improvement and Growth
Continue to look for ways you can grow and improve yourself in any area of your life. A person who is always growing, learning and evolving and having fun in the process is very attractive.
Having your identity and set of values that are important to you is another key aspect to attractiveness. Don’t be an unimaginative person who just agrees with everyone else and uses other people’s opinions without giving them much thought for yourself.
Be definite about your ambitions, your aspirations and where you are going in life.
Working on yourself in this way before you meet a new partner will enable you not only to be more attractive but also to stand up for yourself and maintain your identity.
Knowing and being comfortable with who you are will also make it far easier for you to converse and connect with a guy when the time comes.
Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
Many women make the mistake of comparing themselves to other women, which is a bad idea. Everyone has good and bad points about themselves. However, when we compare ourselves to others, we tend to place more focus on the other person’s good points and compare them to the aspects of ourselves that we don’t like! This can only serve to lower one’s self-esteem.
It is far better and more empowering to have your standards and make sure you live up to them.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
Maintaining good connections with friends and family members who are also positive and upbeat will rub off on you and enable you to maintain your positive momentum. All this contributes to you feeling good about yourself and reinforces your self-worth and deservedness of love.
Look Good and Keep Yourself in Great Shape
This also applies to your level of hygiene and ensuring that you always look good when you go out. Feeling healthy and looking good will again reinforce your positivity and it will be clearly visible to others.
Men are very visual, so they will firstly notice these aspects of you. However, for most men, physicality is not enough, and they will also want to know there is something deeper to you, which will be backed up by your great attitude and high self-esteem.
So make sure you dress the part as well as keep yourself in great shape and good condition. However, this does not mean you need to put on your makeup and an evening dress to go grocery shopping, just make sure you are clean and you look the part for the occasion.
These tips will stand you in good stead when attracting the guy you want to be with. However, once you have your man and you want to keep him in a relationship long-term, be sure to check out my tips for a lasting relationship.
Getting your online dating profile right is certainly not an easy task. It pays to put careful care and attention into every part of your profile. Think of it this way, before you go out for a night on the town, you want to look your best and will most likely take every opportunity to look your best. The same applies to your online dating profile.
With your online profile, you want to turn yourself into the kind of woman that every man is fighting for online and make your profile highly attractive.
While both men and women make a lot of mistakes when it comes to getting your profile right, there are a few big no-no’s that are particularly applicable to the female profile.
Your ‘Special’ Requirements
It is fairly common that women seem to think it is ok to put a list of requirements of what the guy should and shouldn’t be like on their dating profile. The same goes for putting a list of what a woman is looking for in a man.
Ladies, this is a big no-no as a huge amount of men are put off by a large list of all the things he needs to live up to. Listing too many of these things will only make you come across as too choosy and fallacious.
Try to avoid the mistake of putting superficial qualities such as stating that the guy must have good dress sense, be rich, chivalrous and so forth. First of all, this can make you come across as shallow and secondly, these things don’t have anything to do with relationship suitability and being able to have a great relationship with someone.
Most men just don’t bother to read a whole profile and the ones that do will likely just skim-read your list. The ones that do read it will most likely not see themselves fitting in with your demands and move on to the next profile.
Your profile should be the place to demonstrate your beautiful and excellent qualities, not put a list of demands and wants.
The more appealing you can make your profile then the more likely it is that you will attract guys and intrigue them enough to contact you.
No To the Clichés
A huge number of online profiles are littered with clichés. If you can avoid doing this, then you will stand out amongst the others for your uniqueness.
Clichés only demonstrate a complete lack of originality, and they can be just downright off-putting.
Having Misleading or Confusing Profile Pictures
Having a misleading profile picture that shows you as you were ten years ago or 50lbs lighter than the present day will only cause resentment on the first date, so just be honest and put your real, present day photo.
Many women also make the mistake of putting a picture of themselves with about five other friends. Um, hello, guys don’t know which one you are! Many guys will just pass by these kinds of profiles and not even bother to find out.
Too Little Info
Not putting enough information about yourself is also letting your profile down, big time.
Everyone knows that men are highly visual and enjoy the sight of a pretty woman. For about 95% of men, your photo collection on your profile will be the first thing he’ll look at.
However, just having your photos is not enough. Most men, unless they have serious issues, look for and are attracted women who come across as happy, upbeat and good natured. You need to let them know that you are also all those things, that you have a life, are interesting, have valued thoughts and opinions, and you are an interesting and fun person to be with.
Looks aren’t everything to most men, so they will also want to know something about you. As for the guys that are just interested in looks, well, do you want that kind of guy contacting you?
Here are a few more mistakes that women are doing on their online profiles
Creating your first online dating profile can be a little intimidating at first. You look at the long list of questions asking you to blow your own trumpet, and you start to wonder what on earth people are going to think of you when they read it! The keys are to make sure you don’t come across as either a big head or desperate! So how do you get this right?
Here’s how to make your dating profile stand out above the rest, portray you in a good light and avoid making some of the biggest mistakes women make with their online profiles.
How To Get The Most Mileage Out of Your Online Dating Profile
Ask a Friend To Help You
Asking a friend to assist you with your profile can be a great way to get an outside perspective away from all the noise and turbulence of your head. Having a fresh perspective on things can help you to get the right message across. Make sure you choose a friend that knows you well as this will help you to get an accurate depiction of yourself.
Let Them Know You’re Sociable
Social proof is always a good thing, in any walk of life. Letting a guy know that you have a good circle of friends helps to demonstrate that other people like you. You can even do this without stating it, simply by putting a few pictures of you with your friends on your profile.
However, DO NOT make the mistake of putting a group picture as your profile picture. It needs to be clear to guys looking at your profile that YOU are the one the profile is about. It can be very annoying for guys to have to ask which one you are. Some guys may even pass your profile by in they are not sure.
If you have social interests, then take the chance here to harp on about them for a brief sentence or two.
The Profile Pic
This is quite important to get right! As mentioned earlier, make sure it is evident from the picture that it is YOU in the shot. A good tip to note is that studies have shown that profile pictures of some action shot, such as rock climbing, ice skating or playing a musical instrument have proved to get more messages from viewers, even if the person’s face is not clearly visible in the picture.
Throughout your profile, you want to avoid coming across as negative and especially don’t be negative about yourself. Writing your profile in an upbeat manner can be quite attractive whereas the opposite is a turn-off.
Honesty is the Best Policy
100% don’t lie on your profile. If things start to develop with a guy you met through your online dating profile, then he is going to get to know you sooner or later, and those little fibs always come back to bite you in the ass! Some people may think a little white lie here and there can do no harm. However, when the guy finds out that you weren’t truthful, in the back of his mind, he will be starting to think that you are not 100% trust-worthy.
The same goes for your profile picture. Don’t put a picture of yourself from ten or fifteen years ago or a picture of yourself when you were size eight if now you’re a fourteen in the hopes to get more dates. This always backfires at the first meet-up, and your date won’t appreciate it.
Keep Your Profile Updated
Keeping your people regularly updated with new and exciting stuff will give you more opportunity to demonstrate the beautiful and interesting things about yourself. It will also show frequent viewers of your profile that you live an interesting and active life.
Smile, Don’t Pout
Studies have shown that people find pictures of people far more attractive if they are smiling. Avoid putting in photos, a lot of guys just find it annoying, not sexy. To find out what other things women do because they think it is attractive but men actually hate, click here.
Short and Sweet Works Best
If you give away too much info too soon then you leave nothing left for them to wonder about you. You want to say enough to get them interested, but only so much to create a little intrigue and give them a few cues to ask questions about you.
Here are some more tips to help you with your online dating profile.
Hello and welcome to my new blog on virtual dating advice for women.
The world has certainly changed over the last fifteen years or so. When I was in my 20’s it was considered rather a taboo to be on dating websites looking for love, there was a stigma attached to it. However, fast-forward to today and not only is it a widely accepted practice, a staggeringly high percentage of the population of America have tried online dating at one point in their lives, according to Statistic Brain’s online dating statistics.
I think that this trend is partly due to the ever increasing business of life and many people just not having the time to meet people in the conventional ways.
When I first got online, I was a little embarrassed at first to tell any of my friends, but I soon discovered that a handful of them were also doing it as well! IT got rather exciting as we started to compare notes on guys we’d met, were planning to meet or were engaging in conversation over the internet.
It wasn’t all easy and fun though and did also meet a lot of time-wasters and creeps. Although I’m not a dating expert per say, I have had a lot of experience with online dating and would like to share with you what has worked for me, point out the pit-falls to avoid and hopefully help you to cut through the nonsense so you can meet the man of your dreams.
Please check back over the next few days as I plan to start sharing my tips and advice on what I have found to be the most effective things to do on your online profile to help you meet the right person.
For now I will leave you with this great video from Susanne Oshima on the three biggest mistakes that women make with their online dating.